Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
There’s a stripper dressed like a slutty pilgrim. Is that a thing?
Randomize
