Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I just puked into a plastic bag at a red light. Go me.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
Do you know how awkward it is to call the bar from last night and ask if they found my leggings?
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I should probably just look up vagina pictures in the anatomy textbook. That always cheers me up.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Randomize