let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
He told everyone he was freezing their keys so they couldn't drive drunk. When I opened the freezer this morning, my keys were at the bottom of an unfrozen ice cream tub of vodka.
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Yes I peed all over myself and lost both my credit cards, who wants to know?
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
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