SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
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