Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
