i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
This storm betta not fuck with taco tuesday
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Randomize
