dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
Clearly I made an impression.
Or at least your vagina did.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
Had dinner with my ex husband. The box of wine is gone and I'm laying on the floor in my wedding dress. Where are you?!
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I feel like at this point in my life I should be dating someone who doesn't run out of all his money on Mondays and have to wait til fridy to buy his weed
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
Randomize
