Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Randomize