Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
