Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
Sorry you called when I was puking in a cheetos bag
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
We are so blessed to to have nicely shaped vaginas
I thank god almighty everyday
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
My credit card got frozen due to suspicious activity. "Let's go over your recent transaction history... it looks like these are all at bars." BITCH, DON'T JUDGE MY MONDAY NIGHTS.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
I swear, I make more use of my creative writing major with sexting than I do with anything else
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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