Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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