I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
this must be what syphilis tastes like
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
