Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
Being the only sober one.. I had to feed you guys doritos. You kept licking my fingers.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Randomize
