no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
The moment when you go to plug in someone else's phone in your car and your lube is in the way. Don't mind that it's just my center console car lube. Normal.
Your phone just changed "liver" to "liquor" how dose that make you feel
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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