We need to rekindle our bromance
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize