it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
it turns out vodka filled condoms arent that funny
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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