is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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