Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
I'm out of prison. Wanna start a band?
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize
