Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm bonding with your girlfriend. I like her. We're plotting your demise.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I woke up the whole house screaming I need my shorts they found me in the kitchen with a bag of strawberries naked
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
Randomize
