my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I'm not gonna lie. I need sex like plants need water right now. I just need the dick.
Randomize
