We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
