Who would have guessed that ordering a vodka lemonade at Roscoe's was code for I want a hand job
So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
she acted like she'd never seen someone do speed off of a desk with a rolled up receipt. and she calls herself a grad student.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
He wheeled me around walmart in a cart, and stole at least 30 dollars of junior mints fpr me. Best date ever.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
i think im in europe. pls send help
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