How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
