I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dont even get me started. you fell asleep in my kitchen after being cockblocked when you tried to use my roommates bedroom.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
You walked in with a bag of weed and asked for a watermelon. For some reason they actually gave you one, and you made it into a perfectly working bong. Two of them offered their girlfriends to you for the night.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
Randomize
