My Higher Power is John Stamos
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I don't want to talk about her cat for two hours only to dry hump till I'm blistered. Not worth it.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
We are going to get high as balls and watch netflix
THIS IS WHAT BEING AN ADULT LOOKS LIKE
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Randomize
