i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
Boobs speak an international language.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
My mom just added me on Facebook... She has one like and it's Will Smith
So I guess I bought a cat last night. Fuuuccckkk.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
The dog peed on the neighbors baby Jesus. No wonder she thinks we're the devil.
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