Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
you kept making us tell you how cute you looked in your new outfit, even after you threw up all over it
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Randomize
