I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
I'm about to fuck a girl in an old school Tony Kukoc Bulls jersey. About to earn my third championship ring in sex
Wait. Did you let me snort wine last night cause I wanted to smell jesus's blood?
Yes. I have pictures. Your soul is mine.
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
I think he fucked my hip out of place.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Nows a good time to tell him. Just be like "yeah, I used to bang her too and it didn't work out for us either". He'll understand.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
