We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
just had sex on top of a camper looking at the stars, BEAT THAT.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
