YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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