Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
