If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I know it sounds cheesy, but i think both me and her mum know they are "thanks for being so cool about finding nudes of your daughter on the camera" flowers
Randomize
