so do the steelers give the refs blowjobs at halftime or after the game?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
Randomize
