I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
DO NOT FUCK YOUR ENGAGED GAY NEIGHBOR!
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
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