Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
So im on with some ukrainian stripper for a vodka tasting tomorrow. If I die tell my family im awesome
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
We had sex on roll out bean bag chair, and then proceeded to sleep with a blanket with dolphins on it. Happy birthday to me.
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
ok first of all what the fuck
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
