So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Someone came in the potted fern
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
Randomize
