We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
He told me I took off my shirt, asked for the latino thunder and jumped on him. I want to question this but it sounds too much like me.
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
Home safe. Took me everything not to stop and pick up some random cat that looked like an ocelot tho.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
I'm definitely single now but she stole my mailbox
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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