wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Fun fact: You might be drunk if your vision is so blurry that you almost ask "do you know where my glasses are?" while you're wearing them.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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