You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
Randomize
