2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
You're like the curious george of whores
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Telling someone to make good decisions on a Thursday is like telling Santa to be Jewish.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
