I just saw "i'm bigger then that" as her facebook status. Would it be better to make a fat joke or correct her grammar?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I woke up while squatting on top of my bed peeing on my comforter and my laptop
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
