I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
the only reason he called me tonight was because I fertilized his crops on farmville.
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
