It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Is it gay to rub my penis between my butt cheeks and pretend that they're tits?
Wow! You need to get laid.
do you ever facebook stalk someone so much you think their inside jokes are yours?
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
