Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
a guy just walked through our campsite, crouched down by the truck, screamed "ACID ONLY LASTS FOR 8 HOURS RIGHT?!", then ran off into the bushes
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
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