Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
