This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
I think i just called up my ex and talked to her for 20 minutes about frogs and how happy i am to be wearing shorts
I told her I'd give her some of the cream I was using so she didn't get my warts. That's when I realized I was too drunk.
He walked into the party with a case on one shoulder and a boom box on the other of course I fucked him
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
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