Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
I scissor kicked a one legged man last night.
He was trying to put me in handcuffs.
You have my attention.
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
This is my gift to your gina
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
Randomize
