Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
His mom made me a necklace that i am supposed to wear to prom. She included a note with it, which had a star trek quote. What have I gotten myself into?
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
Randomize
