I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
He just lit his joint with the tiki torches around his pool. He is definitely coming to my future parties
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
He posted a picture from Senor Frogs. I don't remember where that bikini came from and my sombrero is PERPENDICULAR. Safe to say it was one hell of a day
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
Randomize
