haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
pretty sure the dicks i sucked were punishment enough
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
So I'm sitting here baked on a bridge thinking about how plants think, I miss you so much
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
Nothin much, just sipping warm franzia from a plastic valentines wine glass while wrapped in my Mexican blanket listening to sappy country songs and mourning my lack of a love life. Hbu?
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