i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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