he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
that may or may not have been my penis.
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