I'm youtube-ing children's choirs. Am I adorable? Or am I a child predator?
Predator. Straight up.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
she would only give me a road handjob because she didnt want to unbuckle
safety first
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I wish drunk me wasn't so into manscaping. Or at least good at it. Either or really
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize
