I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
A fair warning: I don't think a cop will let you off the hook just because your birthday is on New Year's Eve
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
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