Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
i came on her dog
You couldn't stand up so I took you home, took off your makeup, put you to bed then shaved off your eyebrows. I so nearly won the responsible adult prize.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Randomize
