Who was more unwelcome: The two of us at the party last night, or Kimmy Gibler at the Tanner residence?
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
So it turns out there are pros and cons to having a broken wrist. Pro: I can give amazing blowjobs with my left hand. Con: I just had to open a packet of crisps with scissors.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
Randomize
