that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
