guy in front of me on the bus did 12 yrs, hes teling me about how to knife fight
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
