I just googled "whats above a trillion", thats how busy I am at work.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
He fucked me so hard I had an asthma attack. I'm like the sickly poster child for celibacy.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
